The final countdown...

As my undergraduate career is coming very close to a close. Ha, those are the same word, only pronounced differently. English is a funny funny language. I find myself looking back on the last "major" milestone, which was graduating high school. A similar closing. Finishing four years, leaving the school and the city and the friends of that life to go on to a new life which at the time was pretty up in the air. I find myself in that same "airiness" again, as I don't really know what is to come of me after I walk across that stage and get my diploma. When I left high school and moved to A&M it was a big scary time. I didn't know a whole lot of people. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, which was major in science and go to Med-school. That idea was destroyed by my lack of interest in my classes. I worried a lot more than I showed it. I was really pretty scared. But again, I didn't show it, just turned on a movie instead. Sometimes I walked around campus late at night. I considered moving back home and going to community college.

The difference between then and now, is I'm actually not worried this time. I'm calm even though I don't know what I'm going to do after graduation. Grad school is not for sure. The program I want in is small and currently full. I didn't apply anywhere else because well, I really don't want to go anywhere else. If I do speech pathology, that is the best place to do it. I don't really have a job to go back to in Plano. I need to find some kind of job, but whatever it is would not be permanent. But it would be nice if it paid decently well. I think I'll keep trying at the grad school thing. But you know, I could see changing what I study in grad school.

Some people change a lot when they go to college. People say I'm the same. I don't know. I'm older. I don't feel like it. I miss playing music as much as I did. But I'm finally learning the guitar! I feel like I should know what I want to do with myself by now. But I'm still open. I do feel a need to get my hands dirty, make a difference in the world, help some people out, get active.

As for school, I'm content with everything. A lot of people I know are pretty stressed. I'm not. I'm not freaked out, not stressed. Just calm.

I'm excited to go to Seattle and Vancouver after graduation...kind of more excited about that then the whole diploma-thing. I'm ready for the summertime so I can start cracking down on this verrrrry long list of books I want to read. Oh man you have no idea how much I want to read, but I have a problem with not finishing what I need to finish when I read for fun, so I have to put it off until I'm done with school. It's a bummer.

Be ready for a photo-essay blog of my favorite moments at A&M....it's coming soon....